This pen is great. I bought it for all my female friends and relatives. It enabled them, finally, to write things (although they may not yet know to do so on paper; but you can only expect so much, really). I thought they were just a bit slow.
My mother, a hard-working woman who raised twelve kids single-handedly whilst doing all the ironing (as nature intended), was furtively abashed by her illiteracy. Long would she gaze upon her husband and sons’ scrawlings and would dedicate five minutes a day (which she really should have spent making sandwiches) to pray that one day she would be granted the ability to create such scribbles of her own. She’s still a little slow on the uptake, but this product has definitely helped start the ball rolling. We tried to give her men’s pens but she used to rip the cartridges out and drink the ink. Typical woman.
Anyway, it’s good that BIC are finally doing something to aid the plight of women. Hopefully a range of ‘for her’ paperclips is on the horizon - my wife has an awful time keeping her recipes together.
So this happened.
Any excuse I have to use this one is good enough for me:
Today I tried to explain to somebody why dog shaming is so fucking funny. I guess you either get it or you don’t.
that last dog gives no fucks. You can tell by his eyes. He’s going to do it again and again and YOU CAN’T STOP HIM (or HER)
oh god i am actually crying right now actual tears are coming out of my eyes i’m laughing so hard i think my skull is going to explode
"So, blue corn tortillas: high in antioxidants. The more colorful the thing, the better it is for you. So my advice to you, kitchen: never…have sex with white people."
Here’s the latest episode of My Drunk Kitchen! If you haven’t been keeping up with Hannah Hart and all of her shenanigans, head on over to her website. I highly recommend her totally informative tutorial on veganism as well as her foray into military cuisine.
"No, you need to rock that, Mom."
-Virginia son to his mom about her new vaginal-probe-bill-inspired license plate.
This is AMAZING.
HELLO, AND WELCOME TO PLANNED PARENTHOOD, YOU SLUTTY SLUT. WHAT’S THE PROBLEM TODAY? YOU WANT A SLUTTY MAMMOGRAM TO DETERMINE WHETHER OR NOT YOU’VE GOT SLUTTY BREAST CANCER? JUST KIDDING, OF COURSE. YOU’RE HERE FOR AN ABORTION BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES IT’S MATHEMATICALLY PROVEN THAT LESS THAN FIVE PERCENT OF OUR TOTAL PROCEDURES ARE ABORTION, EVERYONE STILL BELIEVES THAT ALL WE DO IS GET RID OF YOU AND YOUR ARMY OF HIPPIE BOYFRIENDS’ SLUTTY MISTAKES, YOU BIG OLD SLUT, YOU.
SLUTEVER, AM I RIGHT? TAKE A SEAT OVER THERE AND WE’LL SEND SOMEONE OUT TO DO A PROVOCATIVE SEX DANCE BEFORE WE GIVE YOU SOME NUDIE MAGS AND NIPPLE TASSELS. I HOPE YOU DON’T HAVE ANY LEGITIMATE HEALTH ISSUES BECAUSE THAT WOULD RUIN OUR NONSTOP SLUT PARTY.
PSA: This blog needs to be a part of your life. In a big way.
This made me laugh so hard it’s sad…I think I need a nap. But, on the plus side, score one for those who think corporations are people! How can they not be and simultaneously be so ridiculously self-conscious? Yup, I’m studying for the logic portion of the LSAT right now so you know that that reasoning is foolproof.